Sunday, November 1, 2015

Operation unearthing Black Money (satire)


Black Money had been an obsession with Moody long before he came to the hot seat. He had come from a humble background and, to him, black meant coal. He used it to light up the ovens to make tea. But, his trusted band of lieutenants and followers had coined wonderful phrases on black money which did pay dividends but not in the way he would have liked them to.
He wanted to unearth the huge amounts of that particular brand of money stashed away in foreign banks and distribute them to the common man – he had gone to the extent of promising that he would transfer it to individual bank accounts. And – the people were floored!
But, alas, reality was hard to swallow.
That is why he had called for a meeting with his trusted lieutenants Jet Lee, Sue Sharma, Hash Budden and Baba Someday. ‘Why have you not met the deadline?’ Moody was not in the best of tempers.
‘It’s a big mystery,’ Sue Sharma explained. ‘The foreign banks were most courteous, they rolled out the red carpets and have given us a tiny slip of paper with names of a few people.’
‘That was just the tip of the iceberg,’ Moody was not happy. ‘Why are they so cagey?’
‘I have no idea,’ Sue mumbled.
‘Well – get idea,’ Moody gave a sarcastic grin. ‘Why do they have hesitation to part with the information?’
‘Could be that the list is a huge one and contains names of people that would cause undue embarrassment,’ Jet Lee suggested.
‘Let us be the judge,’ Moody said. ‘If the people were influential and wielded tremendous power and came from different political formations, should we let the sleeping dogs lie?’
It was at this point that Baba Someday intervened.
He was a wise man determined to root out any and every thing that was bad for the masses. He wanted to have a world devoid of disease and, hence, many doctors were his sworn enemies. He preached yoga and had a huge setup where he had started setups to manufacture biscuits, noodles, honey, plus pure ghee etcetera.
‘Moody-ji,’ he said, ‘which ever country you have gone to, you have broached the subject, yes?’
Moody nodded.
‘You have sent Sue-ji and Jet Lee-ji also – yes?’
‘Yes,’ Moody again nodded.
‘That means you have exhausted all natural channels, right?’
‘Yes. Sort of.’
‘Then let us invoke the Gods, have a yagna, invite all the world leaders to the program. They will jump at the opportunity.’
‘But – how will that help bring back the black money?’
‘Well – in my honest opinion, unearthing black money is a subject where God only can help us. Let us, therefore, invoke the Gods.’ (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)


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