Didi’s ideas to prevent suicides in Metro Rail (satire)

The monsoons had arrived and Didi was holding a meeting in her residence to define future strategies and line of action. Returning to power was something that all her people relished and Didi cautioned them about the black spots of the earlier term.
‘Remember flyovers,’ she said. ‘They can be a sore spot and must be given due respect.’
At this point, Abhi Shake burst into the room. He was shivering and looked to be terribly afraid.
‘Why are you late?’ Didi asked. ‘I will not tolerate indiscipline.’
‘I witnessed a suicide,’ Abhi Shake muttered.
‘Where?’ Moo Cool asked.
‘In the Metro. The boy was walking on the platform and, as the train entered, he jumped on the tracks. The train got stuck for nearly half an hour and I got delayed.’

‘I think we must stop such suicides,’ Didi said. ‘It leads to unwanted deaths and avoidable loss of time.’
‘I have already talked with the Metro rail people on the subject,’ Moo Cool said. ‘This problem has been haunting me for a long time. Actually, I have read that in foreign countries, they have provisions of preventing such suicides.’
‘And – what did the rail say?’ Didi wanted to know.
‘They will introduce some measures in the next phase of East-West Metro.’
‘But that is a long term plan. What do we do now, today?’
‘We could send a team to study how they do it in other countries,’ Moo Cool suggested.
‘Don’t be silly,’ Didi was not happy with that. ‘Why don’t we put Arrah Bull and Money Rule on the job?’
‘What will they do?’
‘Let them recruit local boys to patrol the platforms. Give them large fishing nets. When they see the train approaching, they must be ready to throw the net on anyone who wants to jump on the tracks.’
‘Wonderful idea,’ Moo Cool agreed. ‘That way we can reduce unemployment to some extent.’
‘Fine,’ Didi said, ‘Dee Wreck can post a write-up on this on our website. And – Patro Chatto can include a chapter in our school books on how to travel safely in Metro rail.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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