Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Lord Shiva bamboozled by the storylines of TV serials (satire)


When the Sun goes down and quietness descends on Mount Kailash, it is time to sit down in front of the TV for the daily dose of serials that seem to go on and on without any rhyme or reason.
As usual Lord Shiva and Goddess Durga were watching one of the serials when Lord Shiva yawned, stretched his legs and reached for the packet of crispy chips. But – Durga beat him to the punch and removed the packet beyond reach of her lord.
‘Don’t do this to me,’ Shiva pleaded. ‘I know just how the story will unfold and it is tie for the ad break. I also want a break from this dull routine.’
‘I don’t think you can predict how the story will now unfold,’ Durga said. ‘The story writers are clever. They will introduce twists and turns at every step and keep you guessing.’
‘Thy must be wadding in money,’ Shiva muttered.
‘Of course,’ Durga said. ‘It is their pen that brings the TRPs. And, if the TRP drops, the writer is also dropped. Hence, a successful story writer has to keep his wits about him. He has to create the suspense so that the viewer waits for the next episode.’
‘But – why do they have these ad breaks? And – why the same ads?’
‘Actually these breaks are to give you a chance to get out of the couch and stretch your legs,’ Durga grinned. ‘Or – for me to peep into the kitchen and see if the eggs have boiled. Or – if the cake is baked.’
Usually the half-an-hour episodes of each serial has three segments – and, the time in between each segment is packed with advertisements. These range from toffee to coffee, toothpick to toothpaste and mosquito sprays to deodorant sprays.
‘I don’t understand why they have an episode every day of the week,’ Shiva sighed. ‘Don’t they need any weekly off?’
‘They have their adjustments,’ Durga explained. ‘In order to maintain morale of the actors, they go to exotic outdood locations for shooting.’
‘Exotic locations?’
‘Yes. Bengalis go to Digha or Darjeeling or Puri. And – the Hindi brigade goes to Australia or Phuket.’
‘How I long for the days of Doordarshan,’ Shiva sighed. ‘One serial every day and it has to be finished within 13 episodes. And – ad breaks were very few and far between.’
Durga also sighed.
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I miss serials like Buniyaad, Udaan, Malgudi Days, and Hum Paanch.’
‘So do I,’ Shiva agreed. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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