Didi to gift pepper spray to all girls (satire)

Didi convened a hurried meeting before leaving for Delhi on a very important mission – it was mission 19. Yes – she has enough foresight to chalk out plans for a major upset in the New Delhi power equation come year 2019.
‘Don’t you think it is too early?’ Moo Cool, her Man Friday asked.
Didi grinned.
‘Remember – the early bird catches the worm,’ she said.
Just then two of her women members entered her chamber. They were Golla Sen and Chandi Ma. They worshipped the ground Didi walked on and could do anything to see her happy.
Didi waved them to the chairs and Moo Col got up to leave but Didi signaled him to remain.
‘I am worried about the safety of women in our state,’ she said. ‘I keep hearing of atrocities on school girls, college girls, working women and even housewives. That must stop.’
‘It is all propaganda of the opposition,’ Golla Sen replied. ‘They are jealous of our rising clout and want to discredit us. I have never faced any such situation.’
‘I agree with Golla,’ Chandi Ma said. ‘I also have never faced any such situation. And, I know, neither have you. They are afraid of our size.’
‘Forget all that. I believe in the saying – prevention is better than cure. I want all school and college girls to be given pepper sprays,’ Didi said.

‘But – that will run into millions,’ Golla said.
‘So let us set up industries to manufacture them,’ Didi said. ‘It will give jobs to many unemployed and also create a market for producing real hot chilies. The women can grow the chilies and dry them while the men can powder and package them.’
‘Wonderful idea,’ Chandi Ma agreed. ‘We can have a major event and distribute the pepper sprays to the girls, as we did for bicycles. The sprays should be in packets of a dozen each.’
‘Why a dozen?’ Golla asked.
‘These sprays cannot be reused. So – the girls will always have some stock with them.’
‘Let us plan accordingly,’ Didi said. ‘Our ‘pepper spray’ initiative. Moo Cool – I want you to locate industrialists who are willing to invest. And – ask Dee Wreck to get cracking on the social media network to promote the idea. I want our girls to always have the upper hand.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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