Thursday, September 1, 2016

Moody wants Gold medals from Olympics (satire)


Moody was all praises for the participants of the 2016 Rio Olympics but was saddened at the lack of gold medals – gold is the accepted recognition and when tiny nondescript countries can boast of a crop of gold, such is not the case with Moody’s land of several billion.
Moody therefore called in his team of specialists – Jet Lee, Sue Sharma, Uma-ji, Ranee-ji, Hash Budden, Baba Someday, Emma Melaney, Pro Cash, Banka Nadoo and Rum Mudda. Each of them was a gem and could contribute to the cause.
‘Koel-ji,’ Moody looked towards Vee Jay Koel who had a close association with the Olympics team in Rio. ‘You have seen the Olympics from very close quarters. What is your impression? Why could others bag so many gold but not us?’ ‘It is their attitude,’ Koel-ji said. ‘They train from the KG stage – and aim for the gold.’
‘Why can’t we do it here?’ Moody asked.
‘Who said we can’t?’ Koel retorted.
‘Then let us do it,’ Moody said. ‘All the heads are here today and we can work out a strategy.’
‘We could concentrate on swimming,’ Koel-ji said. ‘Our children swim to their schools and there is a cry to build bridges to cross the rivers. I think we should not do that.’
‘Nonsense,’ Moody said. ‘We must look after their welfare. They are our assets.’
‘I know,’ Koel-ji smiled. ‘We will give them swimwear and encourage them to swim to school. Give award to kids who prove their stamina.’
Jet Lee now cleared his throat.
‘Actually, here our farmers toil in the fields to grow crops – but, that does not get us any gold,’ he said. ‘We must train them to always have the concept of gold in front of their eyes.’
‘I can help in this respect,’ Baba Someday intervened.
‘Let us hear your idea,’ Moody glanced towards the shiny black beard of the Baba.
‘I can rename the fertilizers as Gold fertilizers,’ he said. ‘And my ad pitch for it would be – use bags of Gold to bag Olympics Gold.’
It was now the turn of Pro Cash to have his say. He was the man responsible to develop human resources.
‘In my opinion, we have a brilliant pool of gold medalists who break their heads to unearth IT solutions,’ Pro Cash said. ‘They are in great demand abroad. It is difficult for them to divert their attention to Olympics Gold.’ Moody laughed.
‘Exceptions can always emerge,’ he said. ‘There are engineers who are stars in cricket. Then why can’t a gold medalist in computers bag a gold in shooting? That does not require physical strength like in boxing or wrestling or in gymnastics or in marathon running.’
Pro Cash gulped.
‘I think we can take inspiration from some famous songs,’ Emma Melaney said. ‘Songs like ‘mera dharti sona ugle, ugle heera moti …’
‘Let me make it clear,’ Moody spoke again. ‘We must reverse the trend. I want our sportspersons to bag golds – one for each state.’(to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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